Release.

Why is it that with age more complications arise? Some would rationalize, that since we gain more wisdom and insight on life as we grow older, we can handle things better. But no, with every birthday, alongside some newly gained wisdom, comes more complications. Then again, how complicated can drinking from a bottle, pooping in a diaper, and sharing your toys be?
I wish things were simpler. Simplicity is absolutely wonderful because it leaves only a little room for complicatiosn to sneak in. Like with friends, I tend to stick to a small crowd, boys mostly becaues they don't deal with the bullshit. You do something idiotic, or stupid and they call your ass out and its not taken as if they're being "bitchy" ignoring the fact that there was a reason they opened their mouth in the first place. They talk, flat out, everything on the table and it's listened to. But, then again, I love being a social butterfly because who doesn't like having a lot of friends? It's an amazing feeling to love and be loved in return.
Lately, I've been feeling weird, acting weird. Things have come up and I'm changing as a person. The people I use to turn to and confide in have changed and I find myself making my inner circle of confidees (is that even the word?) smaller and smaller. It's upsetting because I don't know if its me or if its truly just the fact that they weren't meant to be in my life. Like I want to branch out not necessarily replace the people in my inner circle, but add to the people that surround it. If that makes any sense at all. You feel lonely when you have too small of an inner circle, I mean I know it's all about quantity not quality.
And how does one go out there and just find people to be friends with. I always end up with the short end of the stick being surrounded by people I can't relate to. Hell, some of the people I do talk to in my classes I don't even know their names! Maybe I should join a club, I mean isn't one of the main purposes of those things to meet new people that share a common interest with you. I guess that's where it has to start.
I don't know. I'm in a rut and I want to get out of it. I want to return to the time in my life where it felt perfect. A great boyfriend, a great circuit of girlfriends, and my bff. I still have the other two, but the middle section is dwindling and I didn't even know. How do you not catch on to these things? I mean on a positive note, my old homeboys are coming back in to my life. The guys that were my rocks in the midst of a horrible storm. I lost them for a while, but yet we foudn our way back to one another. Who knows, maybe this is temporary and things will change.

I'm hopeful.
I need to be.